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19 January 2010 @ 03:01 pm
The earthquake has left me feeling like Pompeii diaspora. If I had time for I statements, I'd just admit that I feel exactly like Régine Chassagne and that every day I want to "let out a cry, as if I had just heard that everybody I love had died. The reality, unfortunately, is much worse. Although everything around me is peaceful, I have been in an internal state of emergency for days." I'll have to post-pone that for late February or March even. Maybe I'll scream in the shower a little. The search and rescue deadline has passed, but people are dying from other, preventable reasons that I will not accept. The Unionhaiti members and I are doing everything we can but there's not that many of us in total. From my other blog: The 4636 SMS Shortcode for Reporting in Haiti – The Ushahidi Blog →

We need to move faster than ever now. People are dying of other causes. Ridiculously preventable causes like dehydration. I know we’re all doing what we can but I can’t accept that. So I urge you, continue to forward any information you recieve as far as wide as you possibly can.

Some of us understand/speak creole and/or french. (Or even just know someone who can) We are an invaluable resource to the ushahidi team right now. Please help them translate the help messages they receive. This is the closest thing the Haitians have to dialing 911 right now. Some people have been posting the locations of persons in need of help right now with the #haiti tag. Help me email their crucial, time-sensitive information to haiti@ushahidi.com. Their team has stated that this method is also used to report incidents on the ground.

Those of you in Haiti reading the UNION HAITI twitter, Carel Pedre’s and mine, please text their needs, names and locations to 4636 if you have a Digicel phone, or email them to haiti@ushahidi.com, the ones on the ground might be too panicked to do it. Thanks for all your help

09 December 2007 @ 09:35 pm

pascal has been calling me every single day at least two times a day now. i'm sure everyone thinks it's silly that i'm so terrified considering he lives in boston, but i am. he calls every single day. finds new phones to call from. always says the same thing. "hi honey, how are you? how's your mother?" sometimes i'll hang up and he'll call again. "hi honey, how are you, how's your mother?" i tell him not to call. i tell him to leave me alone. it doesn't matter what i do, what i say or how i say it. every day. "hi honey, how are you, how's your mother?"
i. am. terrified.
13 November 2007 @ 09:59 am
why couldn't it have been some stranger.
that's all i'm saying. if it had to happen the way it did, trapped in a fucking parking lot, why couldn't it have been some random person off the street. maybe i would have understood it as rape. maybe i would feel justified for this fucking me up and at least would have realized how wrong it was. maybe i wouldn't feel like it was my fault for not seeing it coming.
28 June 2007 @ 05:44 pm
so i finally started screaming. not just one i-cant-take-this-anymore scream. when i got home today i went right back to just laying there. took the trash out. saw dan in the street and i said hi while walking up my building. i got confused as to whether or not i was supposed to come up to his place, went to mine and started fucking crying, fuck if i know why. let the record show that i wasn't crying over my father. god i tried so hard not to, and even though i slipped and cried, i know it wasn't over him.
next thing i knew i was right back to throwing bottles, screaming and sobbing, and i haven't sobbed like that in years. it sounded like how i used to cry after he hit me. like a kid bawling their fucking lungs out. and i couldn't fucking stop. god i just sat there on the floor with glass shards all around me and i can't stop sobbing for the life of me, no matter how hard i try, no matter how many times i tell myself that I'M FINE. holy fuck. which is when dan comes in again, opens the door and i tell him the long-story-short version. he's in the middle of moving so i send him off. he offered me booze and for some stupid reason i said no thanks. wtf. then again i told him that drugs on the other hand, are totally acceptable. he has to go and i'm temporarily calmed down. about 30 minutes later i start screaming again, and i don't calm down til i slice my arms up again. oh god, sarah. you quit cutting for four years and this is what you do?